I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
