i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
