Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
