Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize