Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
