Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
