I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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