I am in a vortex of obligation.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
