You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
