Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
