One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Congratulations! We have a period
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
