I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
