i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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