Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
why is half of my head shaved?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
