your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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