dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
