her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize