exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Quick, to the slutcave!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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