Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
