so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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