forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
