it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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