And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
