Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
porn star boner night. come get it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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