Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
