Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
