I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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