Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
