his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
