How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
