I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
