I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
