Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
