I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
