If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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