Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize