I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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