hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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