ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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