think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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