If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
