She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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