Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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