the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
