sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
