Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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