Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
