Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
