Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
