Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
