just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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