Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
