is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize