Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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