I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
