Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
