I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When are your genitals available?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
